Anjana Ahuja
Win VIP tickets
Yes
Jenny Missen, 56, was until recently a welfare assistant in an infant school. She is now chair of trustees for Addiss, a support group for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder sufferers and their families. She is the mother of James Missen, 22, whose ADHD was diagnosed when he was 9. He took Ritalin until he was 21. Jenny and her husband John, 61, also have a 32-year-old son, Paul, and a 28-year-old daughter, Sarah.
‘‘James was our third child, and I knew even before he was born that there was something different about him. He was overactive in the womb. He was a lovely baby, really alert and colossally strong. He crossed his physical milestones early: he was crawling at five months and walking at ten months. He didn’t stop running until he was 3, when he discovered Thomas the Tank Engine on the telly. It was the first thing apart from physical activity that caught his attention.
People complain about ADHD children always running around and never sitting down, but all you want to do is to tire them out because it’s such a stress keeping them safe. He was impulsive and had no sense of danger. On my son Paul’s 11th birthday, we gave 10-month-old James a Little Tikes slide. All the family were in the garden. James went to the top and took a flying leap. We all stood there, aghast. But that’s how he was.
At 4, his speech and language were slightly delayed. The speech therapist also suspected a problem with attention, which was prescient. My GP responded by saying that Einstein didn’t speak until he was 4, which wasn’t helpful. I couldn’t wait for James to start nursery because I thought the constant stimulation would solve the problem. But it opened a new can of worms: there was too much stimulation, and he went round the nursery like a tornado.
I was working at the school at the time, and James went into reception class with a teacher I trusted, but he didn’t get any better. We all saw an educational psychologist, who said there must have been some trauma to make him the way he was and that he needed a school for children with emotional behavioural problems. Remember, this was a long time ago, and that’s what they thought back then. I was gobsmacked, and then angry.
The school was great: it decided to statement him [apply for a statement of special educational needs] and employ an assistant. It wasn’t until he was 9 that the ADHD was finally diagnosed, and we were asked if we would like to try Ritalin. We’d never heard of it. We went for it, because at that stage we felt we had nothing to lose.
I remember giving him his first tablet on a Saturday morning. Within 20 minutes, the house was quiet for the first time in nine years. He didn’t become a dribbling zombie, but he sat down and watched children’s Saturday morning TV. He went to school and the teachers were astounded. He was the first child in his school to take anything for ADHD. The first parents’ evening after that was different, too: we were shown pages of writing and diagrams he’d produced. We floated out on a cloud.
I’m not saying it made him the perfect boy. It was still hard work for us and his teachers, but the medicine gave him the opportunity to sit still and concentrate. There was no change in personality; he still had the cheek and lip of a nine-year-old. I think we were lucky because the dosage was right.
He stayed in mainstream school and got about five GCSEs. It was a struggle because he’s probably not naturally academic, although that’s not to say he isn’t bright. At 21, he said he wanted to stop taking the drugs, and he did. We saw absolutely no difference and now he’s been off it for a year. He’s not impulsive any more: it’s possible his brain has matured. He now works for his dad, helping out with driving and the computers.
I dread to think of what would have happened had we not had Ritalin, and if we’d followed the advice to take him out of mainstream schools. Medication is not the only option but the bad publicity about Ritalin is such a shame. Doctors and teachers pick up newspapers, just like everyone else, and are influenced by what they read. I’d say to a parent, who are you going to trust? Clinicians who see ADHD children every day? An unbiased organisation such as Addiss? Or a journalist?
No
Maria Pindula, 38, is the mother of Marcelo, who will be 8 in December. She is a full-time housewife and lives in North London. She is divorced from Marcelo’s father, with whom Marcelo has regular contact visits.
‘‘Marcelo was a normal baby until he reached about 18 months. Then he changed into a nonstop baby. He was all over the place, full of energy, and was only sleeping eight hours in 24. He wouldn’t sit still for long enough for me to read a story to him.
At this age he wasn’t doing the things you’d expect. He wouldn’t respond to his name and he wouldn’t point at things. He never enjoyed playing peekaboo. The health visitor referred me to a paediatrician, who diagnosed autism and learning difficulties. There was a mention of ADHD but it was seen as too early to give a formal diagnosis.
Marcelo went to nursery when he was 3, but they couldn’t cope because he had no sense of danger. I had to attend with him. I was asked to consider a special school, and he moved to a special-needs nursery. He never really spoke, and even today, he says only a few words. He is now in a special-needs school, and I couldn’t ask for better care there.
In 2005 he was referred to a psychiatrist, who said he had learning difficulties but probably wasn’t autistic. The doctor said he was hyperactive too, and that this was connected with the learning difficulties. In retrospect, he’d always shown signs of ADHD: he is unpredictable, cannot concentrate and continually on the go. Ritalin was prescribed.
We tried Ritalin for five days, and it worked within 20 minutes. Marcelo got confused and scared. He didn’t know where he was. He got very down and depressed, and would hide behind me and cry for no reason. This frightened me – he was only 6. I preferred him hyperactive to depressed and scared. I called the psychiatrist and said I couldn’t do it [give him Ritalin].
We tried dexamphetamine [another stimulant prescribed for ADHD], but that seemed to exaggerate his hyperactivity and send him berserk. Now we know that Marcelo doesn’t react well to stimulants. We tried another drug, atomoxetine [a nonstimulant drug], but stopped it after a day because he couldn’t stand the smell. Then he was prescibed risperidone [an antipsychotic drug], which he still takes. It’s never calmed down the hyperactivity but I would say it’s led to a 10 per cent improvement in language. He’s been on it for 14 months.
I’ve also tried gluten-free and dairy-free diets, fish oils and multivitamins. Changing diet has helped but when you don’t have much guidance, you get lost because you don’t know which foods to eat. The doctors tell me that diet has nothing to do with his condition, but I know he is sensitive to additives and preservatives. I wish I could find a doctor who could treat Marcelo holistically, with both alternative and conventional medicine.
Everyone adores him because he’s so jolly, friendly and smiley, but he’s a lost child. He doesn’t have friends. You take him into homes and he breaks things – you end up saying “No, don’t do that” over and over again and it gets too much. It’s also difficult for him to mix with other similar children – everyone’s overwhelmed with their own difficulties, and everyone already has so much to cope with. Friends and family tell me that, if only he would calm down, they could do so much with him.
The most difficult thing for me is that Marcelo never stops. Or, when he does, it’s for half a second before he moves on to the next toy. He sleeps three hours a night and doesn’t get tired. I’ve been up since 3am. I can’t sleep during the day because when Marcelo is not around I’m always waiting for the phone to ring.
His frustration is getting worse. Now he’s getting aggressive and has punched me. He slaps himself in the face really hard too, which is horrible. You know what? I feel very lost, because I don’t know how to help him. It’s getting overwhelming because he is growing. I feel guilty and sad for him; at his age, you start making plans for the future, but we have to make it through each day at a time.
Win a luxury weekend to Newcastle and its neighbour Gateshead, find out more here
Risk, resilience and embracing new technology
Industry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
Discover the power of collective thinking. Submit a solution and be in with a chance to win a Media Hub Home Entertainment System
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip
Make the most of the summer and enter our fabulous photographic competition, you could win a £5000 holiday
Corsica is an island of beauty and contrast, an ideal holiday destination
Enjoy further reading from Travel to Fashion, Business to Sport, discover more




Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
The clever way to lease a new car is with Car leasing made simple™
2009
per month on 36-month
Personal Contract Hire (PCH)
2008
42850
Car Insurance
Competitive Salary
Roddons
March, Cambridgeshire
£35,425 based on skills
MI5
Central London
Max £110K + Car, bonus & bens
Parham Consulting
Canary Wharf, Docklands
Hourly
ActionAid UK
London
Completely London
Luxury Condo's in Manhattan with NYC views
The best new homes in Wimbledon?
Nationwide
Fabulous Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers Including Virgin Atlantic Flights Prices Start From Only £699pp!
Last Minute Cruise And Cruise & Stay Offers. Med From £499pp, Caribbean From £699pp!
5 star quality at a 3 star price.
8 fabulous Canadian cities ...you won’t find cheaper
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths | Subscriptions | E-paper
News International associated websites: Globrix Property Search | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2009 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.